Driving across London this evening I heard Five Live's Matthew Bannister asking whether alleged child molester and sometime pop singer Michael Jackson should be allowed into britain to promote his new album now that he has been formally charged with kiddy fiddling.

My advice to Jackson if he wants to slip into the UK while avoiding the detection of the British authorities is simple. Do an Ian Huntley and change your name to Michael Nixon -- that way you can be sure the police won't cotton onto the fact that you're the same person.

Or better still change your name to Michael X.