THE WAR ON TOPIARY



The security service MI5 has published its terrorist threat assessment and safety advice for the first time.

The details, on MI5's website, were previously given only to a few organisations.

Take a look at the briefing from Britain's top spooks and it's easy to see why this intelligence has been labelled top secret and kept highly classified.

It advises the public to take on Al Qaeda by ensuring "good basic housekeeping in and around your buildings...keep garden areas free from dense shrubbery."

So, by neatly trimming your garden hedge into the shape of a giraffe you are helping to defeat global terrorism.

Which would make Alan Titchmarsh the front runner to replace Tom Ridge as Homeland Security supremo.