Saturday, May 10, 2003

From time to time I try to fool myself into thinking I haven't lost my foot. It's a grown up version of Let's Pretend.

There's a mirror directly opposite my bed. If i press my knees up below the duvet I look just the same as I did before the accident -- two knees leading to two feet hidden underneath the bedding. When the phantom pains are coming on strong the illusion is complete; I can feel my toes, my heel and my ankle even if I can't see them.

If I try hard enough I can almost convince myself that my foot's still there. It's like immersing yourself in an engrossing thriller. It's only when I cast the duvet aside that the spell's broken.

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