When will I ever learn?

I've read the articles in the papers about how 90% of people who join gyms drop out after a few weeks but it still didn't stop me.

Seduced by the sight of rows of toned bodies pummelling themselves to perfection I signed up at the Virgin Active gym in west London. If I'm going to do that triathlon I've got to start somewhere. An African village could survive for a year for the price of the monthly membership but I'm a sucker for the complimentary towels and shower gel, not to mention the promise of a rippling six pack.

Actually, I had to do something. A lack of proper exercise combined with an over-fondness for lager is having a destructive effect on my waistline. It's probably a little late to get in shape for next year's Paralympics but I can at least try to stop myself turning into the Michelin man.

Like a new recruit for some dodgy religious cult I get "inducted" on Tuesday. I already feel like I've made a big mistake.