Only on Planet Tabloid can a person go from total obscurity to front page news over the course of a weekend.
Less than 72 hours ago, the Great British Public was blissfully oblivious to the existence of 26-year old Vanessa Nimmo.
Today, she graced the coffee tables of millions of newspaper readers.
News of the World readers learned that the "Big Brother babe" had a "wild fling" with Manchester United striker, Alan Smith. "Using expert ball control the South African stunner, who managed to slip out of her thong without removing her own shorts on the show, got the star to come running whenever she called," reveals the Screws.
Hacks at the Sunday People, meanwhile, have clearly been waving their chequebooks in the direction of Vanessa's ex-husband Phil Shackles. In a People exclusive, Shackles brands her "an evil two-timer who destroyed their marriage."
However, the laws of gravity apply -- even on Planet Tabloid. Having been catapaulted from nowhere to the front pages of two national newspapers in roughly the same time as it takes to boil an egg, Vanessa Nimmo's career trajectory can now head in only one direction.